Onana is the source of disorder for Manchester United, resembling a drunken pirate ship.


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Soccer teams often discuss their culture, DNA, and unified philosophy. Manchester United, however, is a club currently in disarray. Despite this, they have embraced their true identity through their recent midweek games. While they may not be consistent in the league, they have become a chaotic force in the Champions League – much like a drunken pirate ship. This was evident in their thrilling and occasionally high-quality performance in Istanbul, although it was also marked by moments of surprising ineptitude.

United’s 3-3 tie against Galatasaray has resulted in them losing control of their fate in Group A. However, using the phrase “controlling their own destiny” may not be accurate for this team. Throughout this somewhat surreal group stage, United has not shown any signs of being in control or having any control at all.

There was at least a clear sense of narrative structure, a recurring motif in the chaos of a draw snatched from the jaws of victory. Unfortunately that recurring constant was the sight of André Onana diving over a Hakim Ziyech free‑kick not once but twice, and doing so with a striking sense of symmetry, a man always crashing in the same car.

In the 27th minute, Bruno Fernandes, who had already made one and scored one, sprinted defensively in a manner reminiscent of Ronaldo. This resulted in a foul on Ziyech. The free-kick was directed straight at Onana, who initially stepped one way before attempting to change direction, ultimately executing an impressive flip-dive over the top of the ball as it went into the net behind him. This was not a miss or a fumble, but rather a skilled maneuver to avoid contact with the ball. Manchester United had already taken a 2-0 lead at this point.

After sixteen minutes in the second half, the same series of events took place. Fernandes ran back and committed a foul on Ziyech. Ziyech took the free-kick and kicked it directly at Onana, who once again dodged out of the way. However, this time he also tried to use his hand to push the ball into the empty space where his foot had been, which was a peculiar way of trying to stop the ball or perform any athletic movement.

During the match against Bayern Munich, Onana made a similar mistake when Manchester United appeared to be in a good position. It seems strange that this is something that needs to be improved upon. Instead of trying to avoid the ball, it is important to stand your ground. This should be a fundamental skill. Is it necessary for me to try and dodge the ball? No, it is not. Standing firm is the key.

Alejandro Garnacho celebrates scoring the opening goal

To be fair, Onana also made impressive saves during the game. Towards the end of the first half, he surprised everyone with a quick turn and pass in the middle of the field, moving with a remarkable level of skill and energy amidst all the chaos. It was like Glenn Hoddle on a high dose of acid.

However, the game will consistently focus on these intricacies, which may seem insignificant but are actually an integral part of a larger structure. Why has the goalkeeper who performed well in last season’s Champions League now turned into a disorganized and chaotic mess after just one year?

“Welcome to Manchester United, where the foundation is made up of mismatched pieces. This includes a high-risk goalkeeper who is accustomed to a specific system, but will not have that same support here. The center-backs will prefer to defend in his designated areas, forcing him to navigate his unique playing style in a chaotic and unpredictable environment, considered by many to be the most challenging in the world of football.”

It is surprising to discover that there are obstacles along the way. This is not a matter of luck or incompetence. It is a world of incomplete plans, of near misses. It has its own logic and predictability, with a clear cause and effect. From a chaotic background, I will introduce even more chaos, spreading from the hand to the arm and into the core of this machine.

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United appeared to be cruising through the match. Alejandro Garnacho, Erik ten Hag’s apprentice, scored the first goal with an impressive finish. The goal was set up by a beautiful combination between Fernandes, Ten Hag’s criticized captain, and Rasmus Højlund, Ten Hag’s exceptional center-forward. Højlund displayed strength and accuracy in his passing. Fernandes’ final pass was exceptional and stood out amongst the chaos on the field. Garnacho nailed it into the top corner.

Fernandes scored a second goal with a satisfying right-foot shot that dipped into the top corner while running, reminiscent of a Beckham-esque goal. It seemed like an effortless goal, making one question why he doesn’t do it more often.

However, there were also weaknesses present. Whenever Harry Maguire was left alone, he appeared disoriented, moving around frantically like a Dalek stuck on a staircase. Fernandes played exceptionally well, but also had moments of unfortunate mistakes that left him grabbing his head in frustration. Despite creating multiple opportunities that seemed easier to score than to miss, United was unable to secure a win in the final moments of the game. Even the crowd seemed confused by the chaotic and uproarious atmosphere. Whether it was hell or chaos, we saw it all.

Source: theguardian.com

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