If you received a call, would you be the next James Bond? Bigbadsean
Wouldn’t happen. There’s a sequence to the casting of 007. They choose an actor from one of the smaller UK nations, then from a non-British Commonwealth country and finally an Englishman – and repeat. Actor from smaller UK nation (Connery, Scotland), non-British actor (Lazenby, Australia), Englishman (Moore, England). Sequence completed, we go again: actor from smaller UK nation (Dalton, Wales), non-British actor (Brosnan, Ireland), Englishman (Craig, England).
Unfortunately, becoming the next James Bond is not a possibility for me. The role will most likely go to James Nesbitt from Northern Ireland, followed by Ryan Gosling from Canada, and then an Englishman. If Nesbitt and Gosling each do three movies, with one released every three years, the earliest I could potentially take on the role would be in 2041, when I would be in my 80s. However, that would be too old to realistically portray the character. While I have some ideas on how the role could be adjusted to accommodate a secret agent with limited mobility and bladder issues, it is highly unlikely that I would be chosen for the role. Given all of these factors, it is safe to say that it is not going to happen for me.
I’m a vegan. What would it take to convince you to become vegan, too? elykwh
I have already transitioned to a vegan diet about 70% of the way and I must say it hasn’t been too difficult. For my last Sunday meal, I had potatoes, carrots, parsnips, broccoli, cauliflower, and beef. So, the majority of my plate was vegan. The same goes for Nando’s. Their menu offers chips, macho peas, and corn on the cob – all of which do not contain animal products. Take a closer look and you won’t find anything from an animal. In most places, with just a little effort, a large portion of your meal can be vegan. So, take care of yourself and the planet by adopting a mostly vegan diet today.
Which song would you like to have played at your funeral and who would you want to sing it? ambandib2005
There is a street performer who plays music at the St Stephen’s underpass in Norwich. Some people claim that he lives with his mother and only acts homeless to gain sympathy and money from the public. I’m not entirely convinced; he appears to be genuinely homeless. However, his talent is undeniable. He has a beautiful singing voice, impeccable diction similar to Kenneth Williams, and a repertoire that includes popular songs from Snow Patrol, Stereophonics, and an enthusiastic encore from Goo Goo Dolls. In my opinion, he is the best singer I have ever heard. Coincidentally, I have decided to be cremated and in my final arrangements, the singer will be positioned near the furnace, allowing him to enjoy the warmth as he sings. Even in death, I hope to give back to those in need. (Song: Pipes of Peace)
![Alan Partridge and Jennie Gresham (Susannah Fielding) in This Time With Alan Partridge](https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/14cb5ec346bc8c1edecaf3b404d49b05561b1f6b/0_0_4950_3241/master/4950.jpg?width=445&dpr=1&s=none)
Who do you envision as your perfect dance partner on Strictly Come Dancing?
After careful consideration, I have decided to choose one of the female options.
What valuable lessons did you learn from your parents during your life? Abadabs
My father taught me the method of enhancing conkers by soaking them in vinegar and baking them for two hours at 140C/gas mark 1. My mother instilled in me the importance of always stopping to assist a broken-down vehicle, regardless of how distressed they may appear. It is often a tactic used by robbers to lure unsuspecting victims.
Are you feeling discouraged in your search for genuine love?
I find it amusing when people make that statement. I experience true love daily: the genuine love for witnessing a flower blooming, the sound of a bird’s song, a freshly baked loaf, or a playful lamb. I take joy in the first dew of spring and the last leaves of autumn. And my heart soars when I think I have to back out of a parking spot, but then I realize the spot in front is empty, allowing me to easily drive forward. Therefore, true love fills every moment of my day. Additionally, I am in a fulfilling relationship with a woman. But as I mentioned, it just makes me laugh.
What other realms remain for you to master? CarrAgger
I am becoming more interested in long-form documentaries. What could be my next project? Without hesitation, I would choose to create the definitive history of the Vietnam War. After completing this ambitious task, which would take approximately eight to 10 weeks, I may consider directing a feature film. The potential of animation intrigues me greatly. The artistry and lyrical quality of animated films is difficult to replicate in live action. Additionally, if there is a scene in mind where a character’s head must rotate 350 degrees (as I do), animation provides a simpler solution.
If you weren’t available, who would you choose to anchor the next election night at the BBC? WyzacH
Could you please provide the next question, Matt Baker?
right
Can you share a meaningful moment from your spiritual journey that has brought you fulfillment? Okay then!
In 2012, I attended the opening ceremony of the London Olympics with a woman from Wales whom I had unintentionally started dating. During the left-leaning display of propaganda, she asked if I had any Doritos. I quickly went to the store and bought a bag, but didn’t purchase salsa because I already had some at home. Upon returning home, I realized the salsa had expired in 2010. Despite this, we still ate it as I believe best-before dates are not accurate. It wasn’t until we finished that I noticed the expiry date was actually from 2001.
The stomach cramps were the first to come, followed by dizzying nausea and soon (lots of) vomit. For the next six hours, we were sick again and again, locked in a double helix of distress and euphoric relief accompanied by the smell of wet wipes. It became a hallucinogenic, out-of-body experience. We found ourselves hugging and laughing, sharing our innermost thoughts, lost in flights of fancy and repeatedly being sick. By sunrise, it had worn off. I called her a cab and emailed my assistant five carefully chosen words: “Get me a cleaner, quick.”
I consider my life to be divided into two parts: the Alan before and after I became ill while watching the 2012 London Olympics opening ceremony.
As a highly skilled individual, who is able to think quickly and speak confidently on a microphone, shouldn’t we have the opportunity to hear your commentary on a Cup Final? – thedribbler2
This is a great question, and although you oddly capitalized “Cup” and “Final”, I am happy to provide an answer. I am only willing to commentate on football finals for the women’s game. I may receive criticism for this, but I truly believe that women and girls are the future of this sport. It may not be the most trendy or popular opinion, but it is my genuine belief.
Can you share the top three things you regret and what lessons you have learned from them? As someone who is knowledgeable about the advantages of introspection and ongoing progress, I would love to hear your insights. – MarkAP
I made fun of my wife when her face swelled up from a bee sting; I also kicked a pig and was not a great father. However, I don’t believe in dwelling on the past, so I haven’t taken any lessons from those experiences.
![A 2002 Range Rover](https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/4d4ad588a5c14deee8fbeb8770712964c70defb3/0_598_5000_3000/master/5000.jpg?width=445&dpr=1&s=none)
From the Rover Vitesse fastback to the Vauxhall Insignia, you have owned some of the truly great modern automobiles. Which has been your favourite car over the years? cy7000
This question is quite intriguing and the answer may come as a surprise. I can easily list the luxurious cars I have driven in the past, such as the 2022 Range Rover Velar, 2021 Range Rover Vogue SE, and the Range Rover Sport 4.4 V8 petrol. However, during my younger years in a simpler time, I have fond memories of driving around Norfolk in a modest and affordable car. It may not have been the most extravagant or expensive, but it had character, which is more important to me than anything else. I was emotional when I had to part with it. The car in question was a 2002 Range Rover HSE+.
What is your stance on the increasing popularity of electric vehicles? CosmoLang
As the designated car advocate for Norfolk, my responsibility and honor is to encourage car ownership and utilization throughout the county. Therefore, I am not biased towards any particular type of fuel – what matters is that we have access to our cars. Keep in mind that Norfolk is a large, flat county with limited public transportation options compared to the average population density in the UK. While I may have fabricated that statistic, cars will remain crucial to our economic success and our ability to commute to work or attend our sports clubs.
Am I being accused of defending the interests of major oil companies and the petroleum industry? Not at all. It should be noted that back in the 1990s, I was among the first public figures who openly talked about catalytic converters, not just because I enjoyed saying the term. And while this is not the appropriate platform to debate whether climate change is real or not, what I can say is that while cars are often blamed, other sources of greenhouse gas emissions go unchecked. A prime example of this is methane produced by cows.
Although I support the increase in popularity of electric vehicles, I do not view it as the sole viable option. Given the advancements in creating compact nuclear reactors, it would be unwise to dismiss the potential for a nuclear-powered hatchback.
Source: theguardian.com