Adam Lambert: ‘I don’t need a dildo dipped in glitter’

There’s a song on your new EP called Wet Dream. When did you last wet the bed?

I honestly can’t recall. I was probably a kid. But it’s not about that. It’s about a fantasy. It’s about waking up from a dream where you fancied somebody and started to get down and dirty with them. That happens all the time.

Pineapple doesn’t belong on a pizza. Discuss.

I actually like pineapple on pizza. I don’t like the ham though, so I wouldn’t want pineapple and ham, which is what they call a Hawaiian even though ironically I’ve been told it was actually invented in Vancouver and not Hawaii. I’m enough of a ham already, so I don’t need to put it on my food.

When did you last go to the dentist?

I go once a year. My mother was a dental hygienist so I’ve been raised with a good sense of dental discipline. I know that I have to go to the dentist annually and get a cleaning because mum’s voice is in the back of my head. We never had a lot of candy in the house or sugary cereals for that reason.

What is the ideal length of men’s shorts?

I used to have a weird body dysmorphia about my legs. They’re very skinny and my ankles are tiny, so I felt they looked like chicken legs. My partner keeps telling me: “No, you have great legs, you should show them off.” I used to be an at-the-knee kind of guy. Now I’m mid-thigh. I haven’t reached my Daisy Duke cutoffs moment yet, but we’ll see.

Have you ever met a lamb called Bert?

Can’t say I have. There used to be a Disney cartoon called Lambert the Sheepish Lion, which the kids in my class would sing at me.

Who has been your craziest glambert?

Oh, there’s a bunch of them. I use the word “crazy” as a term of endearment because they’re so dedicated and committed to everything that I do, which is wonderful. They’ll buy the merch or make me things, like customised sex toys. I’m like: “Well, I don’t really need a dildo dipped in glitter, but thank you.”

Are you really going to move to Australia for ever?

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I think I was misquoted. But I could see myself retiring here. It’s such a chilled, friendly place. People in Sydney and Melbourne are so calm and have a very contented way of life. Every time I’m here, I think: “It’s so relaxing.” Plus, you can wear very tight shorts in Australia. It could become a personal evolution for me.

When did you last cry?

I am such a waterworks. Whenever I watch anything mildly sentimental on TV that nobody else would be sobbing about, I start going.

Your new EP is called Afters. Who would you invite to your ideal after-party?

Freddie Mercury. I think we would have a ball. I’ve heard he was so sweet and a lot of fun, so I’d love to toast with Freddie.

What does Brian May smell like?

I don’t think I’ve ever taken notice of how he smells. It’s never come to my attention. He doesn’t smell bad, else I would have noticed.