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Michelle Betos, the goalkeeper for Gotham FC, shares that she was raised in a setting where verbal and sexual mistreatment was common and accepted. She explains that when she entered the professional world, encountering these issues was not surprising to her because it was all she had ever known. This has been a major problem in the league for a long time, as it has been ingrained in the culture from youth to the professional level.
“It was an emotional experience to be among coaches who were discussing and acknowledging the significance of the mental aspect in the development of young players as individuals, regardless of their future pursuits.”
Betos, along with other professional players, youth coaches, and facilitators, recently participated in a four-day mental health retreat in San Diego. They took a break from the retreat to speak with the Observer.
Naomi Girma, a defender for San Diego Wave, came up with the idea. After losing her close friend and teammate, Katie Meyer, to suicide in March 2022, Girma wrote in her diary a year ago: “Establish a mental health program with Common Goal.”
The Common Goal organization requires players, managers, and clubs to donate 1% of their income towards improving the game.
Girma expressed his desire to do something in honor of someone he cared about, with the intention of potentially aiding a younger individual like Katie. He wanted to prevent others from experiencing a similar situation within their own families, friends, or communities.
Fox Sports pledged to dedicate 1% of their coverage for the 2023 Women’s World Cup to addressing mental health, but ended up devoting 6%. This resulted in a popular campaign featuring the US women’s national team. Another initiative, the Create the Space retreat, brought together 20 players from each National Women’s Soccer League (NWSL) club during their off-season, along with 25 local youth coaches, to engage in discussions about various mental health issues.
Girma initially reached out to Lilli Barrett-O’Keefe, the US executive director of Common Goal. She shared her thoughts and plans with Barrett-O’Keefe, who was impressed by the 23-year-old’s determination and drive. Barrett-O’Keefe believes that Girma’s actions demonstrate the potential of the upcoming NWSL players.
“They are seizing power and regaining control. Instead of solely blaming corrupt systems or inadequate policies, they are declaring: ‘We have the power to shape our desired culture, and we can actively demand change and improvement within our communities, clubs, and systems.'”
The impact of the retreat has been significant for everyone involved. Betos states, “I am leaving with a better understanding, more prepared, and feeling lighter than when I arrived. It’s hard to ask for more than that.”
I hope that we can all bring this feeling that we have had the chance to feel and apply it to our surroundings. Let’s share this with a group so that we can create safe locker rooms where we don’t have to decide between focusing on our mental performance or our sports performance – both can thrive together. It has always been a matter of “choosing one”, but the ideal situation is having both.
On Christmas Eve, Becky Sauerbrunn, the captain of the US women’s team, was invited by Girma to participate. She expressed admiration for Naomi and how her tragic experience has sparked something beautiful. However, she also acknowledged the weight of grief that comes with it.
“It is truly special that Katie’s name is associated with this and that her memory will continue to live on through the impact of her story, which will help countless individuals.”
Myra Sack, one of the retreat’s facilitators, says the event is a “testament to Naomi’s ability to turn towards something that’s so painful”. She adds: “To create opportunity and space for coaches and professional athletes to be better for ourselves and others in Katie’s honour speaks to the power of what happens when we pay attention to our pain as opposed to turning away from it.”
The organization, e-motion, was founded by Sack as a result of her daughter Havi’s passing from a neurodegenerative illness in 2021. Sack, who had played soccer in college and worked with youth development through sports for over ten years, noticed a lack of attention to addressing grief in these environments.
“The players constantly face various forms of loss, whether it be death, personal or emotional struggles, changes in living arrangements, being benched or traded, or dealing with injuries.”
There is no need to engage in a competition of who has suffered more, nor should we belittle each other’s struggles. Instead, we can simply empathize with each other’s pain and fears as human beings.
Sauerbrunn was initially concerned about potentially feeling uneasy while opening up about her own weaknesses, but those barriers quickly dissolve. “It’s all been based on mutual agreement. If you feel comfortable sharing, you can. There is no pressure.”
“Before attending this retreat, my main desire was to be able to express my thoughts authentically and without censorship. I wanted to connect with my inner emotions and I am grateful to have achieved that during my time here.”
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After a hiatus of eight years, Sinead Farrelly came out of retirement and joined Gotham FC last year. This decision was prompted by her speaking out about the sexually manipulative actions of her previous coach, Paul Riley. Despite Riley’s denial of the allegations, they sparked a larger discussion within the NWSL.
“I have personally experienced the positive impact of being vulnerable and receiving support for something that once caused me immense shame and trauma. It has truly transformed my life,” she shares. “Without that support, I wouldn’t have been able to return to playing soccer, and I wouldn’t have the sense of fulfillment I now have in other aspects of my life.”
“These conversations and these safe spaces save lives. There were so many times I didn’t want to live, but it was more that I didn’t want to live the life I was living. Opening up gave me the opportunity to alchemise my past into a way that I could exist in the future and exist happily and in a fulfilled way.”
Girma’s decision to involve youth coaches in Create the Space, alongside NWSL players, has had a significant impact on everyone involved. This was motivated by her belief in the immense influence that coaches have on young individuals, extending beyond their soccer endeavors.
Andy Jenkins, the director of football at South Bronx United, believes that coaching badges do not focus enough on mental health. This is particularly concerning because only a small percentage of those affected will go on to become professional players. According to Jenkins, coaching badges primarily teach content, knowledge, tactics, and player development, but they do not teach important skills such as how to develop individuals, work with them, motivate them, be a role model and advocate for them, offer support, or be approachable. These are the true qualities that make an exceptional coach, and they are not emphasized enough in coaching badges.
Our system’s focus is misguided, both in the US and UK. We believe that teaching technical skills is the key to creating exceptional soccer players, instead of prioritizing crucial transferable life skills that can benefit them in soccer, school, and beyond.
Carly Nelson, the goalkeeper for the new NWSL team Utah Royals, is enthusiastic about her role in creating a positive environment for the team. She emphasizes the important impact that coaches have on both the top and bottom levels of the game. “For too long, mental health in soccer has been overlooked. As professional athletes, we’ve been dealing with it since our youth years,” she explains. “It’s inspiring to see youth coaches taking the initiative to address this issue and providing resources to empower kids and create a safe space for them.”
Create the Space will continue to provide avenues for people to talk, including setting up webinars and workshops for those who could not attend, and work with the 45 at the retreat throughout the year. They plan to expand the project.
What are the players’ desires? Sauerbrunn explains that in the NWSL, which has experienced significant challenges, they are just starting to address mental health concerns for both staff and players. The goal is to make progress faster so that youth have the necessary resources, and veteran players like Sauerbrunn, who is 38 years old, also have access to these tools because they can be used throughout their lives.
Betos hopes to expand the goals of the retreat to encompass more than just the players. After playing for nearly 13 years, she believes that no club has fully mastered this aspect. She would like to see head coaches also implementing similar initiatives.
“Mental health is also very important and an issue for people in their shoes, but it’s also important they understand the impact they can and do have on us.”
Sauerbrunn concurs, stating that it would be advantageous for individuals to have access to a similar environment in order to acquire these skills and implement them in their professional or personal lives. She believes that this should begin with coaches and other individuals who have direct influence over people’s livelihoods, which she deems as a positive step.
Source: theguardian.com
